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Luke watched me go through guy after guy and eventually started to pull away from me. I don't know if he was tired of watching me with other men or if he had just started to lose interest. But the second I realized what was happening, I panicked. I couldn't lose him. He had been there for me the entire year, like a surrogate boyfriend. He was someone I could depend on, a backup plan, if you will. Okay, I know that sounds horrible. But that is honestly how I thought of him. I knew that if I was lonely I could call him and he would come over and massage my ego for a bit. It's a horrible thing to say and a worse thing to feel. But that's just how it was.